Responsibility
by irismustang
Summary: A what if piece. What if Shuuhei had still been there when the hollowfication had happened. Spoilers for Turn Back The Pendulum: how Shuuhei met Kensei and how the vizards became vizards.


**DISCLAIMER: **This is a work of fiction. Each noticeable character, location, etc... is the property of the original creator or whomever currently holds the license and rights. I make no profit from this piece of fanfiction, make no claim to anything other than the idea and the order of the words. I also make absolutely no profit whatsoever.

**AN: **Thinking of turning it into a bigger piece. We'll call it a one-shot for now.

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There was a lot Kensei Muguruma didn't remember about the night his life changed. He remembered that day, saving a kid from a giant hollow, trying to cheer him up, then ordering him home. He remembered giving orders after finding the shihakushous of the missing soul reapers. He could remember all the way down to watching his subordinates, his highest ranking officers, falling. He could remember the inky blackness surrounding him, the pain as he was impaled, and seeing the identity of his assailant.

After that, everything was hazy. It was only through second-hand accounts did he know what had happened. Through an experiment by traitors to Soul Society, he had become a Hollow, as had three other captains and four lieutenants. And, sadly, that same small boy he had assumed had returned home.

He had never known the boy had actually been camping nearby, with no home to return to and no family to miss him. The boy had heard the screams and something had overridden his fear and sent him right into the middle of everything. He had nearly been destroyed like the rest of them, and only thanks to three captains and an outrageous procedure had they not lost themselves entirely to the Hollow that they had all nearly become. Even, unfortunately, the child, Shuuhei Hisagi.

No one would tell Kensei if he had been the one who had infected Shuuhei or if it had been another, but just by that omission, he feared he knew the truth. When he had been nothing but a monster, mindless and instinctual, he had hurt a child he had saved just hours before. Kensei hated that, and hated himself for it too. When they had been settled, as much as possible, and deciding how to live, where to go, Kisuke Urahara, the brilliant captain who had saved them, done the best he could for them, had offered to keep the boy. He would be safe with Kisuke, and the former captains and lieutenants would be able to move around more easily, train more effectively, if they weren't attempting to care for a child, regardless of him being a hollow or not.

That had been out of the question to Kensei. He had brought that child into this world, put that creature inside him, destroyed any chance the boy might have had at a normal life in Soul Society. That made the boy his responsibility. Of course, after much debate, they decided to stay close to Kisuke anyway, working with him to set up his new base of operations and have a place to live and train. Regardless of being close, he still stubbornly kept the boy close. His lieutenant complained, but she complained of everything. Lisa had expressed concern over the boy being around, sure that he could be better off with Kisuke. Hiyori had said they didn't need a stupid kid underfoot. Hachigen hadn't had an opinion, one way or the other. Shinji, Rose, and Love had agreed with his reasoning, more or less.

In the first year of really living as what they had become, even the four who hadn't been convinced keeping Shuuhei was a good idea had come around. Though they had rarely truly socialized before, they had become a family by necessity and seclusion, and Shuhei had become like a child or young brother to all. Lisa took to him quickly, despite her stern irritable demeanor, appalled that he hadn't known how to read and had spent hours upon hours rectifying that situation, instilling in him a great passion for reading. Love would stop what he was doing often to entertain the boy when the others were busy. When Rose had brought home a guitar one day, Shuuhei had sat enraptured at his feet as he coaxed sounds from the strings and he had quickly gained a fellow music-lover and musician. Mashiro had even warmed up to him, coaxing him often into playing games with her, and sometimes, when she felt especially childish, would attempt to get him into trouble. It always backfired, but he also always forgave her, and when he had taken the blame for something that had Kensei ready to pop a vein, saving her from her former captain's wrath, she had declared him the best little brother ever. Hachigen treated him with the same kindness and respect he showed everyone, looking after him when the others could not, and had been pleasantly surprised when Shuuhei had imitated a low level kidou spell he had seen, with remarkable talent, and thereby earned himself a place in Hachigen's rather sizable lap, learning kido that his burgeoning spiritual powers could handle. Shinji had gotten Shuuhei away from Rose's limited musical interests, expanding his horizons, and if they weren't arguing with Rose over music, they were making jokes or teasing Hiyori. Hiyori was an angry violent childish girl to everyone, but to Shuuhei, she only muttered her curses and never struck him, which, for Hiyori, was unheard of, but she usually did hit Shinji twice as hard then, as if to make up for the fact that she wouldn't hurt Shuuhei.

And Kensei... when Shuuhei wasn't with one of the others, he was with Kensei, imitating his movements when the man went out to train, watching him intently. The boy idolized him, it was obvious to all, and it just made Kensei hate himself a little more when he saw that shining adoration, that blatant worship, in the dark eyes. Still, Shuuhei was adjusting surprisingly well, and Kensei couldn't deny that he liked the kid around. He couldn't entirely cover his smile when Shuuhei would drop whatever he was doing to greet him when he had been gone, would always look to him for permission whenever he was invited to go do something, whenever he was uncertain of a situation. Kensei would break him of that habit when he was older, teach him to listen to his own instincts, trust in his own judgment. But for now, in this world, in their unusual existence, in the uncertainty of their lives, it was good the kid obeyed so well, trusted them, him, so implicitly, no matter how much that sometimes gnawed at his gut. He didn't deserve it. Saving him from one hollow, but then attacking him as one, dragging him into this hell... he could never make that up to the kid, but he could do his best now to protect him, to teach him, to make sure nothing could ever hurt him like that again.


End file.
